When picking up a healthy activity, habit or food the reward for the first week or so is Feeling Smug. I am doing something which is helping me grow into my Best Me. I am awesome. I will become MORE AWESOME. Look at me go.
When you’re far enough into your healthy journey you can feel a difference if you pay attention but can’t see it yet, the smug runs a bit thin to sustain on alone. I find myself having to consciously note improvements after three weeks of being awake before 6am to do a 10-25 min fitness session before work: my flexibility’s improving, this exercise is easier, my mind is clearer. I’m eating more fruit than ever before, choosing vegetables before carbs and sticking rigidly to my ‘one treat a day’ limit – if needed. I just wish my trousers had realised and pulled themselves together (or rather, slackened off!).
Rewards for good behaviour are a bit thin on the ground for activities which don’t supply a big dopamine hit on their own, and I’ve found myself feeling something is lacking sometimes as I march round the woods to help clear my whirring head. I used to share my exercise activities on a running-related Facebook page, but social media is something I’m doing a lot less with. I’ve been so productive generally I’ve noticed hitting the social media feeds is something I’m only doing to actively kill time, which helps kill the hit and means I’m spending a lot less time on it – I’d rather read! I’m not even wearing a fitness tracker any more so I don’t even know how I’ve done by anything other than feel, but it’s got me thinking about the reward cycle of habits.
We have been conditioned at least in the Western nations to reward ourselves with food, drink, TV, social media and other unhealthy things; after all we’ve earned them with all those good or difficult things we completed today. “I had a salad for lunch so I’m definitely allowed an ice cream this afternoon.”, “That was a great gym session, I’m so ready for that McD’s.”, “We aced that client review meeting, let’s all celebrate at the bar.”. If you’re looking for a healthy reward, where do you go?!
Our bodies and minds enjoy things which are healthy for us too – being outside in the fresh air and sunshine, socialising and engaging with people we like, losing ourselves in an immersive novel – but in a world full of fast and hard-hitting stimuli these slower-burners can seem like the cop-out option. It’s hard to see the walk you went on as both an investment for your future self, and the reward for your present self if you didn’t want to go in the first place (though you probably feel better at the end than the start).
I’ve mentioned previously the ‘habit’ I want to instill in myself is the ability to make active healthy choices rather than putting myself to one side, and the energy required to do this is definitely easing with practice. Only this morning I thought on waking I’d put my sports bra on instead of my dressing gown, and before I’d even really clocked it the cat and I were heading down the stairs completely dressed for a work-out. The work-out was done before I’d even reached the ground floor: by waking and dressing for it, I wasn’t going to get off that track before I’d finished and the rest just flowed.
There is a satisfaction to this and noticing it’s almost becoming automatic – especially if I set myself up well the night before, but it doesn’t have me even giving myself a good-job nod at the end of it. I have to consciously look for the positives. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this but when an activity feels hard enough on its own, finding the extra effort to put a positive spin on it is still extra effort!
Our bodies are conditioned to repeat behaviour which brings rewards; whether it’s avoiding a dangerous situation or an action which results in something we want. Our brains hard-wire this behaviour by releasing dopamine when something pleasurable occurs, increasing the chance we’ll perform this behaviour again.
Cue – Response – Reward – Remember
Something happens, we react to it, something postive occurs, we store it away for next time that something happens again so we can see if we get the reward again. The more often we achieve the reward outcome the more ingrained this behaviour becomes until we no longer even think about it and it becomes automatic.
My rewards for exercising regularly and eating healthier are or will be better energy levels, not see-sawing between sugar highs and crashes, more focus, looser trousers, better sleep – you get the picture, they are numerous. None of them however comes from one session and I honestly haven’t worked out what I can use as a trigger yet. My husband and I have agreed we’ll book a couples massage when we’ve both lost 20lb – but it’s not forming much of an enticement when I’ve lost 2lb in 3 weeks of healthy choices!!!
I’m trying not to focus too much on ‘goals’ as much as ‘direction’, and it may be I need to look at something more time-based: when I’ve been doing this for 4 weeks, or 10 weeks, or 3 months regardless of what the scales say, or how fast I can run a mile I’ll:
- go to that place I’ve always wanted to explore
- try that new restaurant
- go quad-biking or segway-ing
- book an overnight stay at a B&B
I want to support my journey rather than focusing on hitting ‘milestones’ when the aim is move in a healthily sustainable direction, trusting the other results will just happen rather than setting fixed goals and time-frames to achieve them and coming up short – which will derail rather than encourage me. I’m also keen that I don’t indulge consumerism just to have a reward – I don’t want to use my healthy choices to justify buying more clothes or things for the house which I don’t need, using the buzz of shopping as a reward for sustaining health. I do not need or want more stuff. I am however happy to put money towards experiences so that may be something to drive towards.
If you’ve had a similar dilemma and have suggestions, please hit me up with a comment – I’m looking for ideas!
A Life of Well 