Building New Habits

Definitions of habit according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary

hab·​it | \ ˈha-bət \

1 : a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior

2a : an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary
b : addiction
c : a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

My first car was a VW Polo. It had a tracking issue with the front tyres which was looked at in several different garage and tyre-changing places, but noone seemed to be able to do more than improve it. As a result if left to its own devices the steering wheel would rest at about 11 o’clock – it would naturally pull left. Regular motorway driving led me into the habit of driving with only my right hand on the steering wheel, where the weight of my hand would pull the wheel straight.

Two cars and about 8 years later with no tracking problems, and I have to make a very conscious effort to overlearn this behaviour and keep both hands on the wheel and actively think about ’10 and 2′ whenever I get in the car. This ‘habit’ has left me with a right shoulder which is rounded forward and affects my posture in a negative way – I have to work to stretch it out and straighten up!

The point which has been solidifying in my head this week is establishing new habits or over-writing existing ones is an active process which requires diligence and energy. I often think the health of my lifestyle moves in peaks and troughs – I get all these good ‘habits’ when everything’s ticking along nicely, but as soon as things get busy or something comes up they go out the window and it takes me weeks or months to pick them back up again. Even when I’m succeeding in healthy behaviour for an extended period, it isn’t sustained or easy enough for it to be a habit: It requires a constant injection of energy from me, and when the energy is not there the activity disappears from my day.

I re-read Atomic Habits by James Clear again recently, and signed up to his 30 day program – the emails are very similar to the content of the book, but having them land in my inbox every few days gives me a reminder of what I’m trying to establish. He gives advice about habit stacking and habit triggers, but the overarching message at least for starting out is:

Make it as easy as possible.

This message crops up regarding the physical aspects of minimalism too: Start with the easiest space or room, start by removing the things you don’t have sentimental attachment to and therefore decisions are easy. You start to build that positive reinforcement that gives you the energy to take the next step. With activities, thoughts or food, I am guilty of assuming I should be able to do all of it at once. Surely, if that were the case, I’d already eat a healthy balanced diet on a regular basis, exercise frequently and feel fabulous all the time. I need to learn to respect the energy that is required when those tasks are conscious in order to make them happen. If I want to get to the point where healthy is my new normal I need to

Make it as easy as possible.

What does this look like for me right now?

Where do I want to get to?	How am I starting this?
Sleep for 8 hours a night	Get ready for bed at 9pm and preparing for sleep by 9:30
20 minutes exercise and 15 minutes meditation every morning before work	Set my alarm 20 minutes earlier and do 10 minutes exercise before work
Lose 30lbs	No more than 1 treat food a day
Write a book	Sit down at least 3x a week with my notebook – start with paper then laptop when in ‘writing’ mode

None of these tasks take very long, and there’s no amount of tired in my day-to-day life which means I can’t achieve them. The energy demand required for each one is low – but they are not habits. I have to remind myself daily to do them – checking the clock, deciding on my workout and setting up the video or equipment the night before so I can’t procrastinate the time away in the morning until it’s ‘too late’, and not buying junk food as part of my regular shop.

I think what I’m really trying to instill in my head is becoming used to choosing myself first – whether it eventually becomes a habit or not. I want to prove to myself by making healthy choices on a daily basis I feel better and this reinforces making those choices again on the next day. A work-life balance can only be achieved by making sure the ‘living’ part is invested in too – it doesn’t happen on its own. I need to make time for the things that make me tick and grow. And I need to make it easy, so I have more space to enjoy living.

The line I find myself treading is between wanting healthy choices to become automatic and progressing to the next level of personal gain without waiting for this to happen – particularly regarding food; I’m not sure healthy eating ever truly becomes automatic because our bodies are naturally wired to crave the unhealthy food which never used to be found in the abundance it is now – the behaviour we teach ourselves is to avoid the places where we may be tempted to buy or eat it, and then choosing not to have it is easy. I do not want to put progression on hold waiting for the first steps to become automatic, I merely need to wait for them to become easier: repetition makes things faster and more efficient – taking less energy even when the process is still conscious.

As long as the energy is reserved in my day for healthy choices, the habit forming requirement becomes less urgent: I don’t need my actions to be automatic because I’ve already ensured that my health and happiness are priorities. It’s possible waiting for the initial choices to become habits may actually hold me back from doing other things which are important for fear of not being able to sustain them and the whole house of cards falling down. Repetition makes tasks easier, faster and more efficient even without them becoming automatic and habitual, and this decreases the energy required freeing it up for the next task.

Those peaks and troughs of life are always going to be there, and my habits will contribute to the direction my life takes, but I can always over-rule those habits in either a healthy or unhealthy direction by making active choices. My focus at the moment is on making those choices and ensuring as much as is in my control that I have the energy to do that: What I need to manage is not every unpredictable element of my life, but how I keep my priorities throughout those corkscrews. If there is a habit I truly wish to instill in myself, it is knowing:

My health is important.

By reminding myself of this simple maxim, the choices I make when faced with stressful situations or change will be made with this taken into account. In the end, Today is all I have to invest in. I have the next 24 hours, 3 meals, 1 night’s sleep to choose the day I want and the direction I want to head in – and so do you. Habits are not built or broken in a day, but a day of healthy choices is always possible. Keep making the choices which are important, and the habits relating to them can look out for themselves.